Then you said to me " Goodbye". Seeing the humorous side of this serious goodbye, i could only give myself an appalling smile (at the least) realizing how things were more hollow than i had actually suspected. Still then, all my nerves leap in protest when i try to convince myself that there is nothing left but goodbyes'. This is where you had me wondering if there is anything good about the "goodbye". I believe this antagonizing feeling is not going to go so fast. It may be true, love touched once and last a life time?. I spent my time in exaggeration and it works like an extra hour of work out forced on my emotion that only adds to the cramp. But then, I am helpless, more like a willing victim, I got so lost in your thoughts that sometimes i am in desperate need for words of comfort to dig out myself again. I wonder if i will ever get rid of your image. At times, i am afraid, not of anything in the world but me, losing my stand by reflecting too much on someone's priority than mine and letting my moods governed by some needless authority. I was totally helpless when my inner emotion gets out and reveal itself in full magnitude and equally am i, when you call it quit. I looked back into times that were and forlornly seek to redeem those time again which at the end of the day, i know is vain. It come to me, more often than anything, to give a thought to what went wrong with us. Was the love so deceiving? Is distance between us the culprit? When you had me put up all this time for nothing, you are not at all sorry. Are you? I don't know if you will ever give a thought to all this, the fact that you have found someone your dreams are made of.
Am i unworthy of you? Of course, i must be. Else you would have never leave me when i begged you to stay. Is love to beg? What is love? When i turn my thoughts to you ( which i do most of the time) i am desperate, exasperated and my usual calm disposition decomposes. I reckoned, all this has something to do with love but then love is something i couldn't really fathom beyond what i actually feel for you and i believe the person you're meant to be with need not be chased, begged or be given ultimatum.
Matter of fact, I'm a victim of my own thoughts. Rather Petrified with my own emotions that often run out of the line and have become an agent of chaos. sometimes i desperately need someone to confide all my emotions in, but who? Moreover, even if i do, all people alike , would only give occasional flash of superficial understanding then wrapped themselves in their own problems and pleasures. I will stop bothering like you wanted me to But that doesn't mean my love has subside and i have move on like you do. It is that, i have learn to shut in when nobody cares. I will always love you from a far.
-slim
20 October 2013 17:41
